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So here’s what’s going on, we are curating our reality by choosing the stuff we fill our head with. Whatever you give your attention and energy to becomes your world. Whatever you detach from, doesn’t even exist. It’s like that poor tree that fell in a forest that nobody heard of and now they say it didn’t even make a sound. We basically say things don’t exist unless we register in our heads. And once we do, oh boy, it’s not easy letting it go!
I think it was in the Netflix series Unorthodox, someone tells the main character that she can escape this belief system and this community if she wants to because it’s all in her head, and she is like, “yea that’s the most powerful position one can be in??”
Think about it, when something is outside of us, we have full control over how to respond to it. For example, it’s usually easy for us to see why our friend is struggling for no reason and the clear solution to all the drama, like their situation is so clear to us we are like “dude you make yourself miserable, you don’t have to live in this mental prison, it’s all in your head.” Yeah, they think the same about you! It just seems inescapable when it’s in here.
When you are integrated within a world, a belief system, anything that you’re a part of, your perception becomes blurred with everything that comes with it. You are so involved in it, you become it.
Did you realize that when you put something in your head, all of a sudden, it seems like the whole world is about that. When you become concerned with something, you fill your head with information on this subject, you talk to people about it, you read about it, you learn about it, until you become it. I have no doubt that the echo chambers in social media is helping us feel that way, too, but it seems like everyone in the world is focused on the same thing just like you. When I became environmentally conscious, I thought everyone in the world was either vegan or wanting or trying to become one. You can’t imagine people being clueless to it, because it’s your whole reality.
Think of it like a filter you see the world behind. Yes, all those beliefs are all in our head, we can seemingly choose to drop it: it’s not like being physically chained to a cage. But when something’s in your head, and that’s how you see things, that’s your reality. That’s the world you live in. It’s not easy to escape all that’s in your head.
If you tell me that you’re a loser, well I guess you are because if that’s what’s in your head, if that’s your reality, then who am I to say that you’re not? It doesn’t matter what I think of you, or what others do, if that’s how you define yourself then yes that’s you. Because what’s going on in your head becomes your world. I don’t believe we live in the same world, not even a little bit. Because we don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.
I mean, people create illnesses in their heads and they are very much real. It’s called a psychosomatic illness when people have symptoms that are medically unexplained. The doctors want to diagnose it and want to have a more scientific explanation than “it’s all in your head,” but I guess we are still at the early stages of understanding the connection between mind and body.
I think that’s also what they mean by life is a mirror. I’ve been asked a bunch of times if I ever experienced racism in the US. Well I wanna say no, but honestly I don’t know and I don’t think I can ever know. Because if some random person was ever mean to be, I wouldn’t assume that that’s the reason, unless they made it super obvious. I’d probably assume that they’re having a bad day or something. So in my head, in my world, nobody is racist against me. Even if someone actually is, they aren’t in my head. Isn’t that what counts?
What’s outside of you can’t bother you much as long as you don’t let it inside your head. This is true when people try to bring you down, they have the power to do so only if you allow them in your headspace. Same with the people who want to support you, it won’t mean a thing unless you agree with them and internalize those things they tell about you. It’s all in your head.
I’m thinking of the movie Life is Beautiful, the main character is determined to protect his son from the horrors of his surroundings in a concentration camp, and he convinces the little boy that their time in the camp is just a game. And that becomes his son’s reality. Goosebumps.
You already know this, but your past and future are all in your head as well. One is just old stories your head likes telling you over and over again that’s a fraction of what happened, and the other one is some other stories that your head can be more creative about because they didn’t happen yet. In both cases, who am I say that they are not real? They are very real if that’s what you fill your headspace with. That’s the world you live in, that’s probably very different than mine, but is equally real if you ask me.
That’s what I mean by what’s is in your head becomes your whole world. So it’s important to take a step back every once in a while and see what’s there as it is, as if a friend is going through this or like a character in a book. What you’d hope they do in that case is what your intuition is telling you to do.
Be mindful of what you’re putting in your head, of what you’re consuming, because everything we take in matters. You see something or hear something, and then you start talking about it. Or you change your actions according to this new information. It slowly becomes something that determines how you show up in life, it determines your values, and who you are. So it’s important to judge these things and see if it’s something we want in our lives or not.
So maybe question what’s already in there. Double check, does it still align with your intuition? You know how we said certain systems we are raised in are wired in our heads and seem inescapable, you can actually consciously take a step back, see it from the outside, as it is, not as you are, and then decide if you want to keep it in here or if you are ready to enter a new chapter where you lift this filter and try a new way of thinking, which is honestly a new way of being. I call you to fill your head with whatever your intuition guides you towards, and follow your best path, the most “you” path.
So whatever I just said, will become your reality only if you allow my words in your headspace. And allow them only if it makes sense here. If it does, I think we’re gonna get along well 🙂